Batman?
by 13animenurd13
Summary: Xanxus stood before you fully cloaked in a Batman costume glaring down at you with a smirk. "GIVE ME BACK MY GUNS CATWOMAN."    You smirked. "Never Batsy " You flipped over him and the chase began.     ReaderxXanxus


**Batman!**

**Pairing: XanxusxReader?**

The Varia mansion, one of the most deadliest and dangerous places a civilian could be, but even if you were a civilian you'd belong with this weird bunch of assassins.

You, a girl of age (Y/A) was calmly sitting in the living room of the Varia mansion... Playing a game of strip poker. Ya... nothing wrong with that since you were winning and had the Storm, Lightning, Rain, Sun, and both of the Mist guardians of the Varia stripped down to their boxers, while you were still 100% clothed.

You threw out your hand with a smirk. "Royal Flush my boys!~"

Everyone groaned and threw their cards down.

"Now now don't mope, I have enough dignity to not force you to strip down fully. After all why would I do that to my awesome assassin friends?"

Mammon moped. "Mou... My money... Never shall I ever play poker with you again (L/n). Though, we could make excellent partners."

"Oh!~ (Y/N)-(Y/N)!~ Whoever taught you to play poker?~" Lussuria, the gay guardian of the sun, said as he wiggled his hips in a very flamboyant way.

You chuckled and put a finger to your lips. "I agree Mammon, we would make excellent partners, but i don't trust you with my cut of the money. That's a secret.~"

Mammon pouted then chuckled. "Hmph very clever."

You ducked as a horde of knives flew past your head.

"Ushishishishi~ Princess, the prince demands to know. After all, nobody beats the prince!~"

"You're not a prince, fake-prince-senpai. Kero!" Knives were thrown into his frog hat.

You sighed. "Fine!"

Everyone minus Levi, the ever loyal to Xanxus Lighting guardian, gathered around you.

"Reborn's Lizard taught me. Leon can play a mean game of poker."

They blinked and you dodged more knives and a sword.

Squalo slashed towards you again as you dodged. He pointed his sword at you. "VOOOOOOOOOOOIIIII! You scum! YOU DARE LIE TO ME?"

You ignored Squalo's sword and gathered your winnings. "I'm not lying. Leon really taught me how to play poker, right Fran?"

Said frog hat knife bearing boy nodded, his clothes already back on. "Hai, (Y/N)-chan. I was there stupid long-haired captain. Kero!"

Squalo stabbed Fran with his sword.

You sighed and leaned back in your chair smirking thinking of what torture you could do to the Varia, after all they promised that if you won, which they thought you wouldn't, they would do whatever you say. Your (e/c) eyes watched on in amusement as the Varia tried to kill each other once again after they all got their clothes back on. Suddenly it hit you. "I GOT IT!" You slammed your hands down on the wooden table.

The attempted killing of each other paused as they all took a wary glance at you.

"I'm such a genius!" You giggled and stood up. You then smirked, your (h/c) locks falling over your face giving you a very evil appearance. "I'm going to collect my first favor you boys owe me.~"

They paled and gulped. There was one other thing besides Xanxus that scared them shitless, and that thing was your imagination.

Giggling you motioned to your favorite arcobaleno. "Mammon! Mammon! come here!"

"I'll fine you for it."

You glared and he came.

Snickering you gripped onto Mammon as you whispered your amazing idea.

Slowly inch by inch his face twisted upwards in an amused evil smirk. Oh he was **SO** going to get rich off of your idea.

Snuggling into his hood you asked him, "So, what do you say? Partners in crime?~"

"Mu." Mammon shook is head.

Lussuria gulped. "O-oh my!~ (Y/n)-(Y/n) is plotting with Mammon! We're doomed!" He placed his hands over his face and dramatically fake wept.

"V-VOIIIIII! WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING YOU WITCH?" Squalo shouted raising his sword up towards you once again.

"Stupid long-haired commander," Fran stated, "you should know by now to never ask (Y/n)-chan that, it'll only cause more pain and suffering."

"VOI! SHUT UP FRAN!"

"Ushishishi... Sharky is right. The prince must know what you are planning." Bel raised his knives up in a threatening manner.

You shrugged it off. "You'll know in time my dear boys!~ Lussuria! I have clothes I require you to make.~"

Lussuria squealed before pulling a huge sewing kit out of nowhere and scurried up to you in anticipation of what he was going to make his babies wear.

Levi and the others, minus you and Mammon, shuddered. Lussuria making clothes for them was never a good sign. Last Christmas, Lussuria demanded the Varia wear his homemade Santa suits... It did not bode well as it left Fran, the emotionless one, crying all night and mentally scarred to this day.

You smirked and looped your arm with Lussuria. "See ya boys!~" You walked out the door and up to your room with Lussuria and Mammon to begin your excellent plan.

Downstairs the Storm, Rain, Lighting and Mist guardians were writing their wills.

-A WEEK LATER-

Xanxus frowned as he chugged his whiskey. He noticed the way you were giggling like no tomorrow, the way the slightest movement you made caused his guardians to flinch. He downed another shot staring intently at the wall in wonder. You were the only woman who had a weird hold on him. It bugged him like no tomorrow, especially the way HIS guardians clung to you. While Xanxus was taking a sip of his drink, the door burst open and a flash of silver crashed into the wall.

Xanxus twitched. "oi... Trash..." he crushed the glass in his hand. "What the fuck do you think you're-" he paused staring in wonder at the... weird sight in front of him.

The flash of silver was indeed Squalo, but that wasn't the issue at the moment. It was what the fucking trash was wearing... and were those green tights?

Squalo stood up and brushed the dirt off of himself. "VOOOIIIII! BEL YOU BASTARD! WHY DID YOU THROW ME?"

Xanxus twitched.

Bel stalked into the door. "Ushishishi~ You're the sidekick, its the prin-Riddler's job to beat up the hero."

Squalo scowled, his black and white mask covered his eyes. "VOOIII! BEL! I'LL KILL YOU WITH MY SWORD!" He waved his sword.

Xanxus twitched again. What the **FUCK** was going on? Why the Hell were two of his trashy guardians dressed as freaks? Squalo with a red and yellow shirt with a giant R and a yellow cape? Like he wasn't fucking gay enough with his long ass hair.

Bel chuckled. "Oh~ But Robin! A hero never can kill!" He twirled his cane that was oddly shaped like a question mark.

"VOOOI!" Squalo twitched in annoyance.

"Ushishishishi~" Bel tilted his green bowler hat over her face some more and straightened out his green suit. A hint of a black mask could be seen on his face. "Ne Squalo~ Riddle me This Riddle me that. The man that made it doesn't want it... The man that bought it doesn't need it... And the man that needs it doesn't know it. What is it?~" He twirled swaying his hips.

Squalo twitched. "VOI! HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW?"

Bel twitched and threw his green painted knives at Squalo. "Shishishi~ It's a riddle! Guess Sharky!"

Squalo dodged. "VOI! A COFFIN FUCKTARD!"

Bel twitched. "Tch.."

Xanxus twitched again wondering what the fuck was going on. His flame of wrath itching to life in his hands. Bel and Squalo didn't notice him yet.

Fran stalked in and Xanxus twitched again. "Bel-senpai... you're horrible at riddles." Fran ducked from the green knives.

Xanxus would of done a spit take at what Fran was wearing.** A FUCKING LEOTARD**. A fucking green leotard with long green boots and gloves, his lips were painted green and he had poison ivy on his hat.

"Ushishishi shut up Ivy! The Riddler is the best!"

Fran rolled his eyes and summoned some illusionary plants.

Xanxus's eye brow was raised high. Was he fucking dreaming? ...Ya. That had to be it. Had to be the fucking whiskey. There was no way his trashy guardians were actually dressed this way.

Levi walked in with half his face scarred. His coat was half black half white as was his hair.

Xanxus pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck... I must be wasted if I'm seeing this."

The Varia stiffened and slowly turned to face Xanxus paling.

"B-b-boss!" Levi squeaked.

Xanxus glared. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE TRASH?"

"Well..." Lussuria said as he walked through the broken door dressed as a black and red joker with extra clown make up.(Harley Quinn)

"WELL SCUM?" Xanxus's flame of rage burst to life and the Varia paled.

"Well Xanxus~ They lost a bet to me."

Everyone jumped in surprise and their heads whipped to the source of your voice.

Squalo's eyes widened. "V-v-voi..."

"Ushishsi...~"

"... (Y/n)-chan..." Fran wolf whistled.

Levi just stared.

Xanxus's eyes stared onto your form that was so comfortably relaxed into HIS chair with Mammon, dressed as the joker, on your lap.

You smirked. You were wearing a pair of tight fitting black leather jeans that had rips in them as if a cat hat ripped them. Your torso was bare except for the tight fitting pair of leather straps that snaked around your bare stomach and around your back. Your chest was in a tight black leather bra. Shoulders bare. On your arms down to your fingers were a pair of black leather gloves, on your feet were a pair of black high heel stilettos. Adorned on your head was a black mask with cat ears. Your (l/s) (h/c) was strewn across your shoulders. In your hand was a leather whip.

Xanxus growled in a husky tone. "WOMAN WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

You smirked as you stood from Xanxus's chair stalking forward towards Xanxus in a cat like grace. Your hips swayed back and forth and **EVERY** member of the varia stared at you not believing you could look this sexy. "What ever do you mean?" You wrapped your arms around his torso and whispered into his ear. "Xanxus."

He shivered in anticipation. "Don't play dumb trash."

You clicked your tongue and slowly pulled back. "I decided since I beat them at poker, that they should dress up as characters from Batman."

He stared and twitched as you swung your hips again. "Why?"

"Because you'd make an amazing Batman! Duh!"

He did a double take like everyone else. "Huh?"

"Ya! You heard me right Xanxus! I realized how you sometimes fly off on your guns looking all epic like Batman! hence yo shall be Batman! Thats why I made Squalo Robin!"

Squalo twitched as did Xanxus.

"No Trash now go away."

You scowled and then smirked.

Xanxus's eyebrow rose at the smirk. "Are you challenging me woman?"

"Hnn~" You stalked up to Xanxus and purred in his ear. "Yes. Catwoman is Batman's sworn enemy. If you were Batman you'd be able to chase the thief down.~"

Xanxus's lips twitched into a smirk. "Are you serious woman?"

You nodded as you pulled away. "Yup."

"No."

You pouted and started stalking away. "Fine."

The Varia blinked, not believing that you gave up so easily.

You suddenly smirked. "I guess you don'y want your guns back..." In the straps wrapped around your stomach were Xanxus's guns.

Squalo's mouth dropped open. "V-voi! A-are you insane?"

Fran's eyes were wide with wonder. "(Y/n)-chan. How did you do that?"

Xanxus immediately checked for his guns and realized the ones you held were indeed his. He growled at you.

You chuckled. "A thief never shares her secrets Poison Ivy~"

"TRASH."

Everyone froze as Xanxus was enraged. "GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING GUNS."

You smirked then ran out of the room.

Xanxus twitched and stormed after you. No one noticing the fact that he grabbed a bag.

You giggled as you ran from Xanxus. 'This is too much fun!~'

After a couple of minutes you ran into a hard chest. Blinking up your eye's widened then you paled.

Xanxus stood before you fully cloaked in a Batman costume glaring down at you with a smirk. "GIVE ME BACK MY GUNS CATWOMAN."

You smirked. "Never Batsy~" You flipped over him and the chase began.

Throughout the whole Varia and Vongola mansion there were reports of Batman chasing around Catwoman.

-Extended Ending-

You panted as you ran another corner and leapt over the dinner table in the Vongola mansion. Ignoring the shocked looking faces of Tsuna and company. You gasped over your shoulder, "Run for life now from Xanxus, talk later!"

Tsuna paled. "HEEI! (Y/n)! What did you do?"

"MOVE SCUM!" Xanxus leapt over the dinning table after you.

Tsuna twitched and looked to his shocked guardians. Even Nono and Reborn were shocked.

"W-w-was X-x-xanxus dressed as Batman?"

"DAMNIT CATWOMAN! GIVE ME MY GUNS BACK!"

"Never Batsy!"

Tsuna sighed. "That answers my question..."

You panted as you turned another corner. This game of Cat and Mouse had been going on for three hours in a row. 'Damn Xanxus has stamina!' gasping you came to a skidding stop and sighed in relief as you were sure you finally had lost him. You placed your hands over your knees and panted heavily gasping in the air. Your (h/c) was sticking to you along with your leather costume do to sweat. Unknown to you it made you look sexier. Deciding you needed to get a run on again you turned around only to be pushed back into a wall. _**'CRAP!**_' Your (e/c) eyes widened as you realized that in the time you took to catch your breath, Xanxus had caught up to you.

Xanxus panted as he glared down at you with a smirk. "Caught you Catwoman." He pinned you in, so you were boxed in between his arms.

"U-u-um... I-I-I c-can e-explain?"

He chuckled darkly. His eyes roamed you sweaty body and noticed how the leather stuck to you. "You think I'm going to let you get away from this?~"

You paled. "I-i-i'll give your guns back?"

Xanxus smirked as he saw WHERE his guns were. "Yes, you will, but first... What's the term... Cat got your tongue?"

You frowned titling your head to the side. "E-eh? Xanxus what are you talking ab-!"

Xanxus locked his lips onto yours and thrusted his tongue into your mouth mapping it out and nipping at it before pulling away with a satisfied smirk.

Your eyes were bugging out of your skull. Your mouth was wide in shock, with a little blood on your lips from Xanxus's harsh treatment. You stuttered. "I-I-I! Y-y-you! G-guns!"

He smirked. "Ah... I still have to get those back..."

Faster than you could blink Xanxus broke the straps holding his guns up AND your bra. You squeaked. "X-x-x-anxus?" You asked while using your hands to cover your chest.

He chuckled before using your own whip against you to tie you up and drag you into a random bedroom. "My turn to steal something of yours."

"HEIII?" As you were hauled away, you couldn't help but think this was not as fun as you originally thought anymore...


End file.
